First an introduction

Growing up…

I was and am an only child. I never really had any contact with babies or spent lots of time with younger children. I grew up away from all my family, who mostly lived in the mid west. To say that my childhood was isolating would be correct.

Through my teens and twenties the thought to having kids was literally the last thing on my list of things to do. I wanted and thrived on freedom and spontaneity! All my friends were of the same mindset as well. So being a mom was literally not a blip on my radar for most of the life that I have lived so far.

20th Birthday

Trip to Cabo San Lucas

Summer Party at Seahawks Stadium

My internal clock started ticking

However when I did start to think about becoming a mother I was in my late twenties and married. It was almost a no brainer at that point in time. But once I was pregnant all those feelings of loss of freedom and spontaneity started to settle and I had bouts of fear about this baby that was about to come into my life. Thoughts of “oh no this is a mistake” came to me once in a while. Anyone relate to that?

The moment she came into the world I had an overwhelming feeling of Love, Devotion and Protection. I had never been more bonded to anyone or thing in my life and it was the greatest feeling. Having this tiny person in my arms was just amazing and I couldn’t get enough of her. Life seemed to be complete without ever having known there was a missing piece.

However the baby honeymoon does eventually ware off and you start to get into the real meat and potatoes of raising a child. With the years come joys and sorrow, laughs and tears. All the things that no one really ever prepared you for because as a mom we have the ability to forget all the bad stuff and see our kids as perfect angels, right? But there is truth to the saying “the days are long but the years short” and savoring every trial, tribulations and triumph is what I think is most important.

Shameless camera selfie

Ultrasound photo

My Baby Shower Party

What I have learned

Looking back on the last 3 years of motherhood I have had the best highs and some lows that really scared me. No one can prepare you and I don’t think anyone ever really is ready for kids (unless you are Kardashian rich, maybe). All motherhood journeys are different.

PATIENCE

I have learned that I need to work on patience. I didn’t realize that I didn’t really have that much. It is so hard to raise a human. Harder than anyone ever really lets on. My child has tested me in ways that I wouldn’t be tested without having her. I hope that it will make me a better person regardless of the times that I lose it too fast.

COMMUNITY

The love we feel out weighs all the hard times but I think that we need to talk about the hard things more often. It is beneficial to have a community to talk to and not feel like you are ashamed or being judged for your thoughts and feelings (cause some of them will surprise you). I think above all asking for help is very important (coming from someone that tries to do it all alone.) If I could do things over I wouldn’t put so much pressure on myself to be so self reliant.

FORGIVENESS

It is so important to give yourself some slack and forgive yourself for moments of losing your cool or that you ate those 4 cookies in an attempt to console yourself because things got hard. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect in every way. Let that laundry pile up or the dishes go unwashed a day. Life with kids is messy and we have to accept it and forgive ourselves for not being able to do it all, all the time.

Napping when baby naps

First family photo

Fun mommy and me shoot

My intentions as a mother

I know that I am just in the beginning phase of raising a child and I hope that I can continue to learn and be the best influence to my daughter. I hope that we can build a relationship on trust where she can rely on me to be there for her 100% no matter the situation. I want so many things and I hope that the way I was raised doesn’t get in my way of wanting something different for her.

Much love to all you mothers out there. Here is something I want you to know today. You are enough and you are doing a great job.

If you can relate to any of the things I have talked about let me know in the comments. I would love to start a conversation about motherhood with you!